Sleep and suppressed feelings
Day/Night 10.
Paul McKenna does warn that not everyone (and maybe even not most people) will have a gradual improvement in their quality of sleep. For some it's no change for several nights, a big improvement and then a bad night, followed by more improvement.
I thought, at 4.30 or so this morning, that I was having one of those bad nights. But a even a few minutes later, I could see there was a purpose to my waking.
It was the first time for several nights that it took me a long time to get back to sleep. My mind was too busy to sleep, the relaxation routines wouldn't work. So I tried the exercise I described in Day 5, the "Theatre of the Mind," where you invite your unconscious mind to share whatever it needs to for its tension to release. McKenna says you may or many not understand its message and that's okay, the tension will still release anyway. That hasn't quite been my experience. Both the first time and last night, it was only after I did get some insight into what the message meant that I was able to get back to sleep.
I don't know if it's because the exercise involves imagining a theatre, but so far all the images that have come to my mind when doing it have in some way included dancers. No doubt this has some deep hidden meaning, but I actually don't care whether it does or not. I do care though that after I'd got out of bed, huddled in a blanket to keep warm and had done some writing, that I realised what last night's dancers were telling me. Although I have let go of old anger towards the vast majority of people in my life and don't often get caught up in the blame game, there are one or two people that I had still been harbouring resentment towards. What I saw last night was that even for those people I do have feelings of love, but that I was blocking off those feelings the moment they surfaced. It's painful to do that, and much more pleasant to feel loving.
Paul McKenna doesn't suggest that you need to do anything with what surfaces in this exercise, but when I was awake in the night it seemed a good idea to ask my unconscious mind if there was anything I needed to do right then about the insight I'd had. What came to me was that I didn't need to do anything more right then, but that to make sure to allow the feelings of love as best I can throughout the day.
With that I was able to get back to sleep. What I find both surprising and yet not surprising and also reassuring is that today even after being awake for probably at least an hour, I have not felt tired today. I suspect that a lot of tiredness comes not from lack of sleep, but from lack of awareness or from suppressing feelings.
Paul McKenna does warn that not everyone (and maybe even not most people) will have a gradual improvement in their quality of sleep. For some it's no change for several nights, a big improvement and then a bad night, followed by more improvement.
I thought, at 4.30 or so this morning, that I was having one of those bad nights. But a even a few minutes later, I could see there was a purpose to my waking.
It was the first time for several nights that it took me a long time to get back to sleep. My mind was too busy to sleep, the relaxation routines wouldn't work. So I tried the exercise I described in Day 5, the "Theatre of the Mind," where you invite your unconscious mind to share whatever it needs to for its tension to release. McKenna says you may or many not understand its message and that's okay, the tension will still release anyway. That hasn't quite been my experience. Both the first time and last night, it was only after I did get some insight into what the message meant that I was able to get back to sleep.
I don't know if it's because the exercise involves imagining a theatre, but so far all the images that have come to my mind when doing it have in some way included dancers. No doubt this has some deep hidden meaning, but I actually don't care whether it does or not. I do care though that after I'd got out of bed, huddled in a blanket to keep warm and had done some writing, that I realised what last night's dancers were telling me. Although I have let go of old anger towards the vast majority of people in my life and don't often get caught up in the blame game, there are one or two people that I had still been harbouring resentment towards. What I saw last night was that even for those people I do have feelings of love, but that I was blocking off those feelings the moment they surfaced. It's painful to do that, and much more pleasant to feel loving.
Paul McKenna doesn't suggest that you need to do anything with what surfaces in this exercise, but when I was awake in the night it seemed a good idea to ask my unconscious mind if there was anything I needed to do right then about the insight I'd had. What came to me was that I didn't need to do anything more right then, but that to make sure to allow the feelings of love as best I can throughout the day.
With that I was able to get back to sleep. What I find both surprising and yet not surprising and also reassuring is that today even after being awake for probably at least an hour, I have not felt tired today. I suspect that a lot of tiredness comes not from lack of sleep, but from lack of awareness or from suppressing feelings.
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